“Great teachers empathize with children, respect them, and believe that each one has something special that can be built upon.” Ann Lieberman
Mutual respect in the classroom is necessary for a safe, encouraging, and engaging classroom. Mutual respect involves more than the interaction between students and the teacher, it should mean mutual respect between your students as well. Mutual respect sets the stage for a classroom that is conducive to learning taking place and where students feel safe and included.
Building relationships with your students begins with modeling respect for your students and setting expectations for respect among your students. In a respectful classroom environment, everyone’s voice is recognized and appreciated. In a classroom where mutual respect exists, you will also see the essential elements of democracy – liberty, justice, common good, equality, diversity, and truth – all of these are necessary for students to thrive and contribute to their classroom in respectful ways. These essential characteristics should be a part of the first days of the school year. Begin modeling respect on the first day, and not just with your students. Show respect for parents, coworkers, administrators, and school staff. Your students need to see you showing respect for those around you as well as your students. They mimic what they see. Show them what respect looks like. A large part of creating a classroom environment of mutual respect is ensuring that your students feel safe; they need to feel safe socially, emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
Often, students/people who act disrespectfully do so because they feel disrespected themselves. Spread the respect. “Emotions are contagious. When we feel listened to, taken seriously, appreciated, and respected, we tend to ‘pay it forward’” (James Comer, 1999)
Activities to foster respect and inclusivity:
First and foremost, create trusting relationships with your students; let your students know you care – ask how things are going in their lives, pay attention and respond to students’ comments, express sincere appreciation for their efforts and accomplishments, and reaffirm your faith in your students’ ability to learn.
Be aware of your students’ cultural backgrounds; use regular check-ins, class meetings, conferencing, observations of students and their work, and communication with family, and use dialogue journals or writing prompts so students can share their experiences with their families and their cultures.
Model and role play critical social skills; these should include sharing and showing sympathy. Model concepts like respect and compassion, guide norm-setting for these concepts as well.
Encourage student voice, responsibility, and cooperation.
Acknowledge students who demonstrate kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness; this can be through a classroom display, in your weekly newsletter, or on your website. Let your students know you observed what they are doing and how they are treating each other. Take this a step forward and give your students opportunities to recognize and acknowledge the same actions in their classmates or to acknowledge their classmates’ strengths. Again, this could be through a display in the hallway, students writing notes to each other, or during class meeting times.
A personal moment of relationships, respect, and your students feeling safe:
Here go those relationships again . . . This is what is important, especially for the ones I taught, but really for all children! Every child should FEEL SAFE at school or anywhere. A student once sent me this text. “I loved being in your class. I always felt safe when I was close to you. And I will stay in touch.”
It truly is about building relationships, ensuring your students are engaged, that they feel safe and respected, and that you care about them.
Letting your students know you understand they have lives outside of the classroom can look different for each teacher. Teachers have lives outside the classroom too, so each teacher needs to go that extra mile according to what fits their own lives. Below are just some suggestions to help you find that perfect way for you.
Talk to your students about their interests and extracurricular activities they participate in,
Take an interest in their lives (hobbies, sports, church, cultural, and even family), ask questions to let them know you care and are interested,
Attend some of their games, performances, or other extracurricular activities,
Encourage your students to research and explore their hobbies and interests. Encourage them to explore how they can turn those passions and interests into a career.
Be considerate when assigning homework – remember that they do have lives outside of school. Those lives involve time with their families, time with friends, and time building skills in sports, hobbies, or other activities that will help them become well-rounded adults.
Bring those interests and cultural backgrounds into the classroom with relevant reading materials, use everyday examples from their interests and activities, link their interests and hobbies to learning, and give them choices when there are picking topics for research.
Encourage their outside interests to foster their own learning.
Each teacher needs to take the direction that works best for his/her life. Each teacher needs to know his/her students and what they need to succeed.
Personal note: The last 9 years of my teaching career were at a school in one of the highest poverty communities in Greenville, SC. It was my choice to make the transfer, I wanted something different. It quickly became apparent to me how important it was for my students, and the students across the school, that I became interested in their lives, personally, socially, and academically. Soon after my transfer, my husband and I moved into his childhood home, which placed us close to the community of my school. What a unique and incredible experience. On a weekly basis, I would see my students or students from my school in grocery stores, restaurants, the pharmacy, and even in the hospital. Every time there was such a look of awe on their faces just because they saw ‘Mrs. Murrell’ at the same places they visit. When they would see me at school the next day, again there was that look of awe on their faces and they would start a conversation with me about why I shopped at their stores, or what did I like most at the restaurant, and so much more. There were even moments when they would ask me at the end of the day if I were going out to eat or to the store that evening, hoping they would see me again. They loved having that connection with me outside of school. Students come by my house to say hi, or to come Trick or Treating. I even started summer book clubs at my house, and many of my students would come every week during their summer vacation. We read and discussed books, ate lots of food, just talked about life as a 6th grader, and laughed a lot. So many connections were made, and these students were not in my class anymore. They still come by to visit. Valuable connections were made through simple trips to the grocery store, and those connections helped foster an environment in the classroom that made learning more meaningful and real to them.
Making connections with them outside the school is vital to their success, whether it is going to their games, performances, the grocery store, or just having meaningful conversations with them. They need to see that you have a life outside of school, and that it is very much like their lives. When you purposely set out to make connections with them, go that extra mile, it shows them you care about them. It tells them you want them to succeed, and you want to do all you can to help them succeed.
“the most powerful factor in transforming students is a relationship with a caring teacher who a kid feels particularly connected to.” It is the teachers who make such an impact that students seek out many years later, and reconnecting with your students can be a highly rewarding experience. Not only does it give you the chance to see where your students end up, it also gives you the chance to hear their gratitude and to truly know the kind of impact you had on them.
Just one of those days, those reflections about teaching and building relationships
During my twenty-eight-year teaching career, there were many moments where I questioned myself on why I became a teacher. I truly feel God created me to be a teacher, and it is not that He was not there every step of the way, but just like any path in life, there were obstacles and tests to make sure we are giving 100% to whatever God designed us to be.
The student in my room who struggled everyday with learning disabilities, yet she went from 13% on her reading assessment at the beginning of the year to 60% at the end of the year! This is why I teach!
The student who squealed with delight and jumped in my arms, when she saw me in the store. This is why I teach!
The student who sent me an email once to tell me she had all As in 6th grade this year! This is why I teach!
The students who contacted me to tell me they were graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married, having babies, or just to say hi.
The students, like Tiffaney, Georgia, and Julia, who will meet with me to have a cup of coffee and let me know how things are going in life, their decisions about their future, or just to talk. This is why I teach!
To hear students fascinated and in awe when I would share Mr. Murrell’s WWII treasures. This is why I teach!
To see that student who struggled every day with math or science, have that Aha moment and the light just shines from their eyes! This is why I teach!
But I also taught because I loved the laughter, the smiles, the most random questions and comments, and the opportunities to share stories in hopes the stories would encourage my students to be different, to stand out, to have a voice, and to become everything they were created to become! This was truly why I taught!
Teaching, then and now, should not put its emphasis on testing! To quote one of my students from years ago, “Mrs. Murrell, if they make us take one more standard test, they will make us all become STANDARD PEOPLE, we will not be unique, different, or have choices. We will just be STANDARD!” This is why I taught!
Here go those relationships again . . . This is what is important, especially for the ones I teach, but really for all children! Every child should be able to FEEL SAFE. A student once sent me this text too. “I loved being in your class. I always felt safe when I was close to you. And I will stay in touch.”
Many times during my teaching career I was asked, “Why I become so personal with my students?” Why would you not become personal and build relationships with your students? It seems to me that the atmosphere in the classroom improves, it becomes more conducive to the learning you want to take place, and the students see that you genuinely care. When these things take place, learning – real, deep learning – is going to happen! I do not want them to walk in my room in August, and out the door in May, and nothing has changed between the two of us. I want them to walk in, with the expectation that we are going to learn this year, we are going to learn things about each other, we are going to learn what they need to know to be prepared for middle school, they are going to learn that I have high expectations for their work, attitude, and behavior, and they are going to learn that I love to laugh, make my classroom inviting to them, and that learning can take place while we are having fun. They are going to learn to have respect for each other and they are going to learn that I care about them, not just the student, but the person! They are going to learn that for me it does not end in May when they walk out the door, that I want to know how they are doing in life! I want to see them celebrate their accomplishments, know that life is going well, see how they face the challenges that will come their way, and watch them become all I knew they were capable of. Life does not end in 5th grade; it is just beginning. If we build relationships with our students, we get to see them grow, succeed, and know that we helped build the foundation for all that they will become! I have seen so many grow, graduate, go to college, get married, have children, and become successful adults. What an honor to be a small part of that! Relationships between teachers and students are so important to the growth and development of not only the student, but the teacher as well! My life is full and rewarding because of those relationships! I would not have it any other way!
Is there such a thing as too personal when you are trying to teach and inspire students to do their best, despite the obstacles in their way? I do not think so! In December 2016 I had the opportunity to embark on an even more up-close and personal adventure with a student, and no one warned me to stay away, keep my distance. I thought it was so odd at the time. On Christmas Eve 2016, a student and I spent the entire day together, driving to Charlotte, NC, cheering for our team, and driving back home together and no one finds that odd. Yet, I had been invited to bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, I had been asked to pray for families of students I had taught, I had been invited to high school and college graduations, I had even been invited to funerals of family members, and so many other events in the lives of students I had taught, and each time I was warned to back away, keep it professional. How does a teacher, who hopes to inspire and encourage, keep it only professional? That day in December 2016 marked a milestone for me, and what I believe is extremely important in being an effective teacher – building relationships! How can you not spend a day with a student at a football game, and not be personal with your students. She was so excited, and I was even more so, not necessarily about the ballgame, but just being able to spend the day with a student with no one telling me what I should or should not be doing, that is up close and personal!
At the end of the day with Alexus, all I could think was “What a day!” Alexus said she received the best present ever today – spending the day with Mrs. Murrell at the ballgame. It was a great day for me too! We bought her some souvenirs, food, and just really enjoyed our time. It did not really matter that our team did not win! Her statement at end, “Thank you, Mrs. Murrell! I never thought I would get to see a ballgame live! This was the best day. When we get back to school, can you help me write a thank you letter to Mr. Gowdy?” And that was exactly what we did.
Relationships with your students is vital to your student’s success and achievement. My heart has been hurting all day. I walked into my class this morning, excited about seeing my girls and letting them talk about their spring break. They started coming in and they could not wait to tell me everything. As the last ones came in, I noticed a change in the mood and as I talked to one student, she told me that her grandfather died over spring break, so she spent her week with family and funeral events. I could tell she was still really hurting. I just hugged her and watched her during the day. Another one of my girls dealt with her mother having surgery over spring break. She wrote in her journal this morning about hospital rooms and smells, and how scary it was that her mother had surgery. Then there is the student, who as she was writing in her journal just stops and looks at me and says “Mrs. Murrell, I know there are some things we are not supposed to talk about in school, but I have a question and no one else will take the time to answer me. Can you answer my question?” “Well, you know I will try. What is your question?” She responds, “Well, yesterday our pastor kept talking about Jesus and this long ‘R’ word and I just don’t understand. Do you know what the word is?” I asked her what else her pastor talked about, and she said Jesus dying. “Was the word resurrection?” “That’s it, Mrs. Murrell. What does it mean?” I explained in simple terms what it meant, and she just sits there and smiles. She said, “That’s pretty awesome, isn’t it, Mrs. Murrell!” I smiled and said, “Yes, it is pretty awesome!” Before the conversation goes any further, another student steps in and says, “You should have just asked me, we can talk about it all we want. Mrs. Murrell really isn’t supposed to though and we don’t want to get her in trouble.” I just laughed and told them it was ok. God sure does have a funny, but right way of keeping me grounded and aware that he is always there, watching and listening! Spring break was wonderful, but life in my classroom is amazing!
Retirement came shortly after June 5, 2019. This was my reflection on that last day of school, on that last day that I would have the ability to make an impact with students. “Well, this is it! Tomorrow will be my last of the important lasts! My last class of Mrs. Murrell’s Pearls will walk through my door, tell me good morning, then shortly after will leave for summer break, and I will realize I have heard my LAST hellos and goodbyes for a lifetime. As I sit here tonight, I reflect on all the lessons learned through 28 years of teaching, but wait I was the teacher, wasn’t I supposed to teach the lessons, not learn them? However, any true teacher will tell you we learn from the students and the experiences as much as the students learn from us. About 20 years ago, I learned a valuable lesson from a very precocious little blonde hair boy. A precious one, who had way too many questions for each day, so being the smart teacher I was, I decided to limit the number of questions he could ask each day. I even went so far as to give him a certain number of tickets each day, and when his tickets were gone, he could not ask any more questions. Until one day when he still had about 2 hours to go in the day, and he only had one ticket left. I asked him, “Are you sure this question is important enough to use your last ticket.” In all seriousness, he answered “Yes, Mrs. Murrell!” I told him okay, and he brought me his last ticket. He looked at me, and smiled, and said, “I don’t really have a question, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much I love being in your class.” After several seconds I cried, and then gave him back all his tickets. Then we threw them all away! No more tickets. Lesson learned: sometimes our students may act in a way, that has nothing to do with learning or education, they just need to know someone cares. This lesson and many more have been taught to me by students, more numerous than I can count every year. Fast forward 16 years, and even more students thank me for the things I have done in their lives . . . and I am thanking God for their presence in my life. God continues to bless when we follow His will and direction! The lessons have been many: how to overcome obstacles like parents being killed, homelessness, abuse, and neglect, yet they still come to my classroom door with a smile and a willingness to learn and become more! Then comes today, just when I think my heart cannot take anymore, God says, “But Lynne, I am not through teaching you the lessons!” Bring it on! And He did, when a student with tears in her eyes says, “Mrs. Murrell, this is just too beautiful, I can’t eat it!” Or “Mrs. Murrell, I have never seen anything so beautiful.” Simply teaching me “Please don’t take what I give you for granted, there are others who will appreciate every little thing.” I do not think I will ever tire of the lessons God teaches us, and I do not ever think I will tire of the relationships built with students that last a lifetime, and I am done thinking I will ever tire of understanding God’s grace and mercy. Yet today I am proud that I overcame my own insecurities and tried to understand their lives.”
After all is said and done, this is why I taught and why I taught the way I did. It was not for scores on tests, evaluations, or having summers off, lol! It was for the simple opportunity of making a difference in a student’s life. I was overwhelmed by a message I just received one night from a past student! “Hi Mrs. Murrell!! I am not sure if you remember me, but you were my 5th grade teacher in 2005. I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to the real impact a teacher can have on her students. You made me love learning and going to school. I am a junior at Hillcrest High School, and I am in teacher cadet because I am planning on becoming a 3rd grade teacher. I just started field experience at Plain Elementary and I have the honor of helping a teacher with a 2nd grade class. I just wanted to thank you for being an amazing teacher. You also helped me love writing and I am currently going to be published in a magazine at Anderson University where I wrote about the real meaning of being a teacher. I miss you so much ❤”
“An enthusiastic teacher often spices the class with excitement, enjoyment, and anticipation; engages students to participate; and stimulates them to explore. Thus, teacher enthusiasm sparks the curiosity of students and jumpstarts their motivation to learn. Teacher enthusiasm can lead to better teaching evaluations, positive attitudes toward teachers, better student performance, and improved classroom behavior.” Natcom.org
A teacher’s enthusiasm and positive attitude have such an impact on the students in her classroom. Enthusiasm is defined as a stated of mind. It inspires action and is the most contagious of all emotions. Enthusiasm inspires! An enthusiastic teacher can be described as one who is energetic, enjoys teaching, conveys a love for what she does, and is self-confident. Imagine having a teacher who does not have these qualities.
Student engagement depends on the teacher and her attitude towards teaching and what is going on in the classroom. Research has shown a direct correlation between a teacher’s enthusiasm and students being motivated to learn and do their best. A study at Cornell University showed a definitive link between the enthusiasm of a teacher and how students responded to activities and learning. The study simply focused on the inflections in the teacher’s voice to show enthusiasm. There was an overwhelming response from the students about how the change in the teacher’s voice made them more enthusiastic and excited to learn.
Personally, I saw this time and time again in my classrooms over my 27-year teaching career. One example of how observant our students are happened one morning when a student walked into my room with a special gift, but it was her words that touched my heart and made me reflect on how our attitudes affect our students.
“One of my students came in excited this morning, because she had a present for me – several actually. She handed me these rings and the scarf. It was her words that went straight to my heart, “Mrs. Murrell, when you smile and get excited about something it just lights up the room! I know you love rings and scarves, so I wanted to give you these. I knew it would make you smile!” It also made me cry, just a little.”
There it is, “when you smile and get excited about something it just lights up the room”. Our enthusiasm and attitude impact their lives, and their day. If we want them to learn and do their best, our attitudes should be something that motivates them! Be positive! Be excited!
Teachers transfer their emotions and attitudes to their students without even realizing it. Students are observant and perceptive, and it is our job to engage them in everything going on in the classroom. If our attitudes do not reflect a love for learning, an enthusiasm and excitement over what we are teaching, how can we expect our students to become enthusiastic and excited. We want them excited about learning. Not every student is going to get excited about everything in the classroom, but the more the teacher is enthusiastic and has a positive attitude towards the subject she is teaching, the chances of her students being engaged are much greater. When your students become more excited and engaged in what is happening in the classroom, and your enthusiasm rubs off on them, the students become invested in their learning and are more likely to take the learning seriously. Student engagement also leads to fewer behavior problems in the classroom and fewer distractions.
Student engagement fits right in with that structured classroom and those high expectations. All characteristics of the best environment for students to achieve and succeed.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” John 13:7
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
I am forever amazed at God’s presence in my life and how He has guided me towards His plan for my life all along. My plan included going to Elon University, majoring in Religion, and then going to seminary to become a minister. In my mind, it was what I was supposed to do. So, I went to Elon, and graduated with a degree in Religion, despite God giving all kinds of guidance and direction that my focus, His plan was for something totally different. Let us just say I am very stubborn, and after 4 ½ years of college, and no job options, I finally started praying to God and LISTENING to His words. Through several experiences at church and college, the direction was always there and now as I look back, I realize all the times He tried to tell me He had other plans for me. After graduation from Elon, and Mike graduated from UNC, life took a completely different direction for both of us, and we moved to Chapel Hill. Mike went back to school, Nursing School, and I got a job at Blue Cross Blue Shield. As Mike was working on his second degree, God truly started speaking to my heart about what He wanted me to do, and teaching was the direction. My heart had always been sensitive towards children with special needs and after a lot of prayer, I finally realized that was where God was leading me. After Mike graduated from UNC School of Nursing (with honors), and after the birth of our son, we soon headed to Greenville, NC where Mike would become Chief Flight Nurse for Eastcare, and I would start school at East Carolina University. In 1987, I graduated with honors, and then my world turned upside down with Mike’s death. Once again, God’s plan for my life took another turn, because instead of immediately going to work I felt like my son needed me more, so I put teaching on hold. We moved to Greenville, SC to be close to family, and I decided to pursue my Master’s in Education at Furman University while Patrick was in school. Then life took another turn when I met Steve, we got married, and I was pregnant again. Once again, I decided my daughter needed me more than I needed to teach, so I stayed home with her and my three nephews until they were four/five and ready to start kindergarten.
Finally it was time for my teaching career to start, time for God’s plan to continue (because I know now that all of those turns and twists in the road were part of God’s plan!), even though it took me 19 years to finally follow God’s plan for me to become a teacher, I learned so much about myself through each change in life. I became stronger in my faith, I became more confident in my ability to teach, and because of all the twists and turns God gave me patience to work with students of such varying needs that I am sometimes overwhelmed just thinking about His gifts. Isn’t God amazing? “Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” John 13:7 I truly did not understand all the events I went through in life at the time, but now as a retired teacher I understand God’s plan and every stumble in the road I had to go through to get to this point in life.
So my reflections started a few days ago when I started going through my boxes of teacher memorabilia, and the memories of single moments in time through my 27 year teaching career starting overwhelming me and causing me to give my utmost thanks to God for my life, for all I have been through, for all I have learned and experienced. There were no mistakes in His plan!
I am retired now, but the memories and experiences of being a teacher for 27 years will never fade. There is so much that I miss, there are so many mornings that I think to myself I should still be teaching, I should still be in the classroom. There are mornings that I wake up and have to take a second or two to remind myself that there are no students waiting on me to come to the classroom, and that breaks my heart just a little. There are days when I wonder if I did all I could as a teacher to make a difference, to create relationships with my students, to encourage my students to always do their best, and just to be there for them. I love being retired with my husband, but I truly miss teaching!
I miss the planning for my students, knowing their needs, and the curriculum and what I need to teach and how I need to teach the material.
I miss the smiles I would see every morning when students would walk through my door. Believe me some of those smiles made me feel like a movie star, like I was the best thing they had seen in a long time. Those smiles would make my heart sing all day long.
I miss the hugs! Oh, the hugs from students that are excited to be at school, that are excited to be in your classroom, those are the best hugs in the world. They made me feel so special. I miss the hugs.
I miss the laughter of students, especially 5th grade girls. That laughter is the best in all the world. It took so little on my part to cause that laughter to happen . . . a simple change in voice, a soapbox session, a mistake on my part, and my stories always caused laughter in the classroom. Maybe the stories were the best and caused the most laughter because they were real, and I was being real when I told the stories – stories of my children, my life, my mistakes, and the lessons I have learned through life. Whatever it was that caused their faces to light up and the laughter to erupt, it was well worth the life experience and the willingness to share the story so my students could see I was telling my story.
I miss the conversations. Oh, the conversations to take place in a 5th grade class with 30 students or with 16 girls! Fifth graders are on the edge of becoming teenagers and they are so eager to share their thoughts and give their opinions. I remember being in fifth grade. I had so many opinions and thoughts. I wanted someone to listen. I loved listening and being included in their conversations.
One example: Conversation from today while my students were writing . . . One of my girls raised her hand and when I called on her, she responded, “Mrs. Murrell, I am worried about you.”
Me, “Why are you worried about me?”
Student, “Well, I am worried about you when you retire. You have to admit Mrs. Murrell it is your students who keep you on your toes, who tell you when you are dressed cool like today, or who keep you from going crazy, because we keep you busy. Who will do all that for you when you retire?”
Me, “I am sure my husband and my family will keep me busy. I will be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Student, “But Mrs. Murrell, I am afraid you are going to get old and frumpy like my grandmother. I mean, she is 64.”
(Me thinking to myself, yes, that is really old.)
I just smiled and thanked her for her concern.
Another example: It never ceases to amaze me the thoughts and words that come from 5th grade students. In a discussion today about being able to go back in time, one of my girls said she would like to go back in time to see and talk to some of the great people from our past. People like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, and others. But then she said, “But Mrs. Murrell, I just want to ask them questions. I don’t want them to ask me questions about life today.” I asked her why. She responded, “Because I think they would be sad at the mess we have made in the world.”
Amen! From a 5th grader!
There are so many conversations that I could copy and paste, and each one would demonstrate why I miss the conversations so much.
I miss the curiosity and the inquisitiveness of students in elementary school. Oh my, it knows no boundaries, and they have no fear of sharing and asking their questions. I miss their openness and their honesty so much!
One example:
Student, “So, Mrs. Murrell, I go home and read my Bible every night.”
Me, “Really?!”
Student, “And the Bible says, God don’t like no lying lips!” (Direct quote)
Me, “Really?”
Student, “That’s why I don’t lie to you, Mrs. Murrell, but if I do I go home and ask for forgiveness.”
Me, (trying hard not to choke and bust out laughing)
This is what we do! Teachers have quite a life! Would not trade it for anything else.
Their honesty and willingness to share knows no limits or boundaries. They just want someone to listen. I miss being that person who is willing to listen.
I miss their excitement to learn something new. I miss their willingness to try something new. I especially miss the looks on their faces when you present them with a situation, they are unfamiliar with, like a pretend campfire when you are getting ready to start a unit in Social Studies on Westward Expansion. I just miss their enthusiasm.
I miss planning with other teachers to present the best, most excited activities for learning for all our students.
I miss the camaraderie between teachers, especially that teacher right next door or across the hall. Those relationships are so special. No one understands that relationship until you have been the teacher next door.
I even miss the professional development and the faculty meetings, not because they offered such great insight, but because we were all there together with the same thoughts and concerns. Just tell us how we can help our students succeed! That truly was the reason we were there. We did not want to hear all the things you thought we were doing wrong, we just wanted to hear some encouragement and some belief that we were doing our best to help our students succeed. We talk all the time about the self-esteem and self-concept of our students, but no one talks about the self-esteem or self-concept of our teachers. What a shame! I do not miss the blame, but I do miss the fact that the teachers came together and supported each other.
I miss the emails, voice mails, and text messages from parents asking me about their child. I miss them because they showed me the parents cared! I miss parents that held me to the boundaries or parameters of an IEP or 504 because I knew they cared.
I miss the letters from American Education Week because I would get the sweetest letters from past students.
I miss teaching lessons that were because my students needed them, not because they were in my lesson plans.
I miss teachers coming to me for advice or suggestions, as much as I miss going to other teachers for advice or suggestions.
But most of all, I miss the ‘aha moments’ for my students. Those are the absolute best. Those moments were why I wanted to go to school every day and teach my students. I longed for those moments in math and science especially when I was teaching all girls. Those moments when the light came on, and they understood the problem, oh my, my heart would just leap! Those were the best moments!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 Oh my heart! I trusted in the Lord and look at what He gave me. Students who placed their trust in me, parents who placed their trust in me! And look at the blessings! Students who remembered me! Parents who appreciated and remembered.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 I love God! I am so thankful for His plan for my life, and His guidance and wisdom in working towards those goals. Yet, I know that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
His purpose was for me to be a teacher. I finally became the teacher He wanted me to become. I received so many more blessings than I could have ever imagined, but He knew the blessings I would receive. Today as I read letters from past students, I became very much aware of His plan once more. I needed to become a teacher to fulfill God’s plan. I needed to go through all the twists and turns in life to appreciate His plan. I just needed to follow His plan from the beginning. Isn’t He amazing! I owe my teaching career, the relationships formed with students and parents, my life to Him! He is amazing!
Did you know Donors Choose offers a chance to get funding for professional development? Teachers with 6 or more points are eligible to request matching funds in funding your own professional development opportunities. Creating a Donors Choose project for your own professional development offers your friends and community the opportunity to help you foster personal and student social-emotional focus through personal interactive experiences. This year will be a year of uncharted waters for teachers and students, friends and communities understand the challenges you are facing, and they would love to offer you and your students support. This is a great way for them to support and encourage your growth as well as the growth of your students.
The project you post through Donors Choose can be virtual or online for yourself and even your students. If you have a virtual experience you would like to attend, you can submit it as a Special Request Project. While many virtual experiences (both professional development and student learning) are eligible as long as they meet project eligibility requirements, we are unable to post projects for virtual experiences and resources from Get Your Teach On. When submitting your Special Request, make sure that the online event or course you or your students are attending is occurring at least 2 months in the future, and no more than 8 months in the future. When submitting your project, you’ll also need to include a link to the website of the virtual experience or payment document that shows the exact cost and dates.
This is such a great opportunity for you, your students, family and friends, and the community.
With each new school year, the anxiety and excitement builds as we get closer to learning who our new students will be and meeting them for the first time. This year things are so different for teachers across our nation; virtual, brick and mortar, or whatever other ways your district decides is best for each teacher and her students. However, building relationships is still extremely important, especially if you are teaching your students virtually.
Here are just some quick ideas to get you started on those first days:
Introduce yourself to your students and their families through a letter, an email, a slideshow, or whatever format works for you. When you introduce yourself, make sure you show the personal side as well as the professional side – include pictures, talk about your family and your pets, include things you like to do.
Whether virtual or in the classroom, take time to get to know your students on the very first day. In the classroom, you can do this through Consensograms or Getting to Know you Activities. If virtual, you could use Padlet, Survey Monkey, Google Forms, Micropoll, or others. Make sure either virtual or in the classroom, you respond to the questions too. Students love to see their teacher’s responses.
Building class community the first day is imperative for building relationships. Morning messages are a great way to build community, and I started those the very first day. Reading the book, The Important Thing, and then having students work in small groups to write their own The Important Thing about ____ Grade is . . . is a great way to begin building classroom community.
My name is Lynne Murrell, and I am a retired teacher. Although I am retired, teaching is something that never leaves your heart and your mind. It stays with you for a lifetime. As a teacher I reflected often on my lessons, my students, a single day, and whether or not I did everything I could to help each student do their best. One important question I always asked myself was did I do my best to build strong relationships with each of my students? This was an important question for me because my philosophy of education is based on the importance of building relationships with your students, and even their families.
At the end of my teaching career, it came down truly to just one thing. Did I build strong enough relationships with my students that helped them through life and to achieve their goals? After a year of being retired, I still reflect on my effectiveness as a teacher. I still wonder if there was anything I could have done better, more effectively? Did I let even one student pass through my class without a strong, positive relationship?
My goal through this blog is to help teachers understand the importance of building relationships with each student!
My passion for building relationships is based on a quote I saw once very early in my teaching career, ” If kids come to us from strong, healthy functioning families, it makes our job easier. However, if they do not come to us from strong, healthy, functioning families, it makes our job more important.” As teachers, it is not our choice which students come to our classroom, and there is no quarantee that each student has strong relationships at home within their families. We may be the only chance of creating lifelong relationships our students have, and building that relationship is so much more important than what is on my lesson plan, in the curriculum or standards, or expectations from administrators and legislators.
This blog will provide you with ideas and activities to help you start building those relationships, but hopefully it will fill you with a renewed passion for teaching and your students.
I would like to close this introduction with a conversation I had with a student several years ago. It shows the importance of building relationships, creating an atmosphere of trust and honesty with your students. This is an actual written reflection I wrote in 2017, “However, as I sit here tonight and wonder again, about my decisions, the question comes to mind as to whether the right decisions were made years ago. You see, this week I have had some of the most interesting conversations with my students that make me wonder am I really in the right place. The conversations were initiated and guided by thestudents, and I fell right into each conversation with each precious girl. Questions about God, Heaven, sins, morals, and the best one, “Mrs. Murrell, do you believe in angels and heaven?” “Yes, I do.” A truly great conversation followed after that during recess. Then, “Mrs. Murrell, how did we get here?” “What do you mean?” “You know, do you believe in God’s creation or that we evolved from apes?” Oh my! In today’s world, unfortunately, I have to worry about how to answer that if I want to keep my job, my career. However, all it took was one look at her face, and I answered honestly, “Ibelieve in God and the story of creation.” Her response, “Great! That is what I thought from the way you act and the way you treat us!” So, my question for myself tonight at age 60, 23 years of teaching, am I in the right career? Is a career where I have to worry about being honest about my beliefs really the place God intended for me to be? Is it enough that my students can tell I am a Christian by the way I act and the way I treat them? The answer is a clear, resounding YES! This is exactly where God planned for me to be!” Relationships with your students open up the door for honesty, trust, reliability, and dependability. Your students may never get that from anyone else.
This blog will truly show what my passion as a teacher truly focused on. Hopefully, it will offer some inspiration to you as a teacher, whether this is your first year, your second, or your twentieth year.
Reflections from a Teacher 